


Those three little words

by Abagailx



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Akashi needs a hug, Angst, KagaKuro - Freeform, Kagaaka - Freeform, M/M, Multi, how tags working?, i love torturing akashi, i ship akakuro but im not sure how it end to this, like a real hug, midotaka - Freeform, murahimu, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2020-07-10 03:34:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19899169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abagailx/pseuds/Abagailx
Summary: Akashi often wonder what is the price of being well him, Akashi?





	1. Chapter 1

**_“Akashi cannot cried.”_ **

Akashi eyes widened. It happened so fast. It was a complete silence before suddenly everyone was cheering for Seirin. They won. And Rakuzan--they beated. Akashi look toward his teammates, everyone of them had their head bowing. Looking on the floor. Defeated.

**__“Akashi unbeatable.”_ _ **

Turning his head to Kuroko, he never saw the baby blue hair boy that happy. Not even when he was with them, the generation.

“Kurokocchi!!” Kise loud voice were running toward him. Them? He wasn’t sure but every part of generations is running toward Kuroko, happily.

**__He never saw them that happy._ _ **

“Sei-chan?” Reo hand touching his shoulder.

“Reo--” Akashi can’t trust his voice, enough to replying longer than calling the other name.

“We should go and congrate them.” Mibuchi smile and pull him toward Seirin.

**__“Akashi is powerful.”_ _ **

“Kuroko. Congrate.” Akashi smile toward each of them. Truly smile.

“Akashi-kun--” Kuroko tightened his grip on his shirt. “Akashi-kun. I--”

“Kuroko.” Akashi half-shouting. Everyone was shocked. “Please. Don’t--” Akashi smile weakly. “Kagami. Thank you.” Akashi bow one last time befofe left. Ignoring everyone who is calling for him. He was fighting his own tears which will fall at any given moment. Grapping his beg, Akashi walk out of the stadium.

“Sei--” another voice which he immediately recognised stopping just right on the door, hidding from sight.

“Where is my father?” Akashi asked without looking toward the voice owner.

“Waiting for you.” silent. “You know you can choose, right?”

“I wish I can. We wish we can.” Akashi murmurs before continued walking. For once in his life he hope he can truly be with everyone. For once. Doesn’t matter if it only for a second. For once he really hope everyone can truly smile with him.

“It hurt.” Akashi touch his chest. Tears already streaming down his face.

* * *

__“What happened to you?” Midorima disappointed voice ringing around him. Echoing. “This is not you--this is just---too much!!” Midorima could not stay longer. Immediately left as Akashi only giving him a silent answered._ _

**__Failure_ _ **

**__Unworthy_ _ **

**__Fallen_ _ **

__“What do you want, Akashi?” Kise had dropped his -cchi on Akashi name._ _

__“Ryota.” Akashi was hesitating. He actually hesitating._ _

__“I don’t have time for this, Akashi. Speak now.” he can heard the blonde tapping his table. “I’m dropping the line. My manager is calling.” the call drop. Kise was not waiting for his replied._ _

__You should had let me taking your place._ _

**__I will shows them who is us._ _ **

**__You are weak._ _ **

__“So, why did you want to meet me?” Aomine yawned. “Can we make this fast? Satsuki is waiting for me. She is bitching now.” Aomine leans on the chair, totally bored. “You look like a shit, Akashi.” Aomine comment before their eyes only exchange look for a second. After a moment, Aomine left without noticing that Akashi is actually shaking. Crying._ _

**__You failed me_ _ **

**__You failed us_ _ **

**__You are weak__ ** **__ **

__“Good evening Aka-chin.” Murasakibara greaeting while shoving a whole full candy into his mouth. “Are you in trouble, Aka-chin?” Murasakibara sound forceful. Akashi smile before touching Murasakibara’s hand._ _

__“I’m sorry.” Akashi smile and left the cafe._ _

**__You should have not even exist_ _ **

__“I’m sorry Akashi-kun but I promised Taiga-kun.” Kuroko end the call. Akashi look onto the screen. Kuroko picture was smiling toward him. Happily._ _

__“Not a same happiness--” Akashi touch the screen._ _

* * *

“What are you doing here?” Haizaki looks toward the redhair.

“Shogo--” Akashi was shocked. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought you know everything?” Haizaki questions. Akashi was taken back before his eyes land on Haizaki silver hair.

“Your hair--”

“My aunt won’t stop nagging.” Haizaki touch his hair and pull out a cigar. “Really what are you doing here?” Haizaki lit the cigar before put it between his lips.

“I--I don’t know--” Akashi murmurs.

“What that?”

“I don’t know. I was waiting for my driver just now before--” Akashi look around and saw he was at park, on the swing.

“How long have you been here--” Haizaki grap his hand and his eyes widened. “What the fuck, Akashi!!” Haizaki pull the short man to his apartment. Cold as ice that was the only words repeating in his head. __Akashi was as cold as ice.__ “You an idiot!!” Haizaki unlocked his door before pushing Akashi inside. Immediately run to his bathroom, filling his tub without cared to taking off his shoes. Making sure that the water in a right temperature, Haizaki walk to the front door, ready to pull Akashi into the bath tub only to find that the redhair is collapse on his floor.

“Well fuck!!” Haizaki cursing.


	2. Chapter 2

_He remembered the warm touched of her fingertips. How she will caressing his cheek gently while a smile drawn on her lips. Her laugh. Everything. He remembered the first time she makes him hold onto basketball. How she taught him everything. How sometimes she will play with him. She was his first love, the love of his life. How, he ended her life._

_****“I’m sorry.”** ** _

_She saying it with full of regret. Her tears fall from the corner of her life. Her body turning cold, she stop moving. He could not making any sound, he could not hear any sound. Mute. “Mama?” Akashi small hand meeting her mother’s face. Nothing. She making no movement. “Mama?” again Akashi tried to call for him but nothing. Her body only turning more cold._

_He remembered everything._

_But, he couldn’t remembered how he ended up in hospital. How his father eyes never left him. “You killed her.” his father murmur without mercy. Akashi rise his head, meeting his father eye’s level._

_“Papa?” Akashi tried to reach for him but he wouldn’t let Akashi to touch him. As in Akashi will paint him with his mother blood. Blood? Akashi look onto his hand. The dried blood of his mother._

_“You kill her.” again her father voice out._

_“MASAOMI!!” another voice running toward them. “What are you talking about!!” a hand wrapped around Akashi small body. Without answering them, Masaomi left the room. “Sei--”_

_“Papa was right, uncle.” a tears fall meeting the floor._

_“Sei. You father just mourning.” a finger wiped away the tears._

_“Still--I killed mama.”_

_Everyone is already left, leaving only Akashi alone in the graveyard. His father, haven’t trying to look at him. Not even a small sympathy toward him. He can’t mourning like his father? A tears no longer there, nothing to cried for. A tears didn’t befitting someone like him. A murderer._

* * *

__

“A murderer--” Akashi eyes open. It was so dark. He never like dark. It always reminding him that day. A day when he took after his mother life. 

“I’m not sure what running in your head but you are not murderer, Akashi.” a voice from his side. Akashi turn toward the voice yet could not making out the face of the owner yet it was so familiar.

“Haizaki?” Akashi tried to focus to whatever direction he can think of.

“It creepy when you saying it that way.” Haizaki sighed. “Where the usual, Shogo?”

“I--sorry.” Akashi turn to another direction as in Haizaki could see him, only to noticed that the window is open. The cold wind is making its way into the room. Akashi moving closer to any warm he could find, Haizaki. “Where?”

“Sorry about this dark-situation. It a sudden blackout I guess. I happened here all the time.” Haizaki move a bit. Pulling Akashi closer to him. “And somehow the skies kinda dark too tonight.”

“I--” finally its hit Akashi. He was wrapping around Haizaki’s arm. Haizaki’s chest is touching his left side. “Haizaki--” Akashi sit down and move to the wall. “Sorry--”

“No. It was me should saying that.” Haizaki sighed and sit down, the moon light entering the room, Akashi could finally see the whole Haizaki. As in the light making Haizaki glowing under the darkness. Akashi eyes widened. “You looking so scared in your sleep. As in you want me to pull you out of your dream. I can’t wake you up. Yet you keep repeating murderer and I’m sorry. That why I pull you into my embraced. A always saw my aunt do this to her child and guess what its somehow works?” awkardly Haizaki trying to explain.

“Thank you--” Akashi almost whispering. “I--thanks--” Akashi can felt his cheek burning. He never been this close to someone. Not after his mother passed. “I--it’s okay.” Akashi focusing on his hand.

“Want to talk about it?” Haizaki offered. Immediately, Akashi shook his head. “Its okay if you felt uncomfortable about it. I’m suck in this exploring one feeling or heart to heart talking but you can count on me I guess.”

“Thanks--” Akashi still had his eyes focusing on his fingers.

“I never received that much thanks from you in one go.” Haizaki chuckled and laid down. “Can we just let it go tonight and sleep? I have a work tomorrow.”

“I guess. I’ll be sleeping in your couch--” before Akashi could stand up, Haizaki pull him down and land to his chest.

“No can do. Just sleep here with me. It going to be hot. The blackout going to last long.” Haizaki turn with his back facing Akashi. “Good night.”

* * *

“Taiga?” Himuro look toward his brother who seems to be in a thought.

“Tatsuya--” Kagami almost fall from the swing. “What are you doing here?” Kagami stand up and pull his brother into a hug.

“What are you doing here?” Himuro asked him again and release himself from Kagami’s tight embraced.

“I--huh. I don’t know.” awkwardly Kagami laughed. “I want to see you. And my mind just went to another dimention I guess?”

“Something bothering you, Taiga?” Himuro touch his face.

“NO. It not actually serious. It just--I--where Murasakibara?” Kagami change the topic.

“He not feeling well. I was from the pharmacy buying him this.” Himuro shows him the medicine.

“That why you just pop out of nowhere.” Kagami chuckled. “Mind if I crash your place?”

“NO. Not at all. Come it quite cold tonight.” Himuro lead Kagami to his shared apartment with Murasakibara. “So it been 2 years ever since that battle, huh?”

“Yeah. It almost like a dream.”

“It is a dream.” Himuro chuckled. After a moment his smartphone ringing. __Uncle,__ was what written on the screen. “Excuse me.” HImuro pick the call. “Un? No. Really? I try to call him. Yeah. I see. I let him know, un. Yeah. Good night.” Himuro ended the call.

“Your uncle?”

“Yeah. My cousin haven’t returned yet.” Himuro press a contact with a __cousin__ name. “Dammit he didn’t pick up his phone.”

“Maybe he with friends?”

Himuro looks toward him weirdly. “That impossible. He was a lone wolf.” again he tried to call it but fail. “I’ll call him again tomorrow.”

“I never knew you had a cousin.”

“Believe me. I never knew his existence until recently.” Himuro put his phone back to his pocket. “And we here.” Himuro announced.

“This is expensive looking apartment.” Kagami look toward the apartment.

“What can I do my lover comes from a rich family.” Himuro smirking.

“Lil shit.” Kagami comment. Both laughing.

* * *

Akashi open his eyes slowly as the ray of sun shine to his face. “Haizaki?” he sit down and look aorund and saw no signed of Haizaki around. “Hai--” a breakfast and small notes was place on the side of their bed. Reaching for the notes, Akashi smile. Haizaki had left for work and he see no point in waking him up as he was sleeping soundly 

_P/s, your smartphone been ringing ever since last night and even in the morning. How can you even sleeping soundly?_

His smartphone ringing? Immediately Akashi search for his smartphone and saw 40 missed call and 18 messages almost all from a same person. And 2 from his father. “Suck.” Akashi rush to the bedroom to take a quick shower. Another notes was sticking on the mirror.

_I figured you will love a shower after you awake so I have somehow a spare toothbrush and towel. Even a brief if you wish for it and my old shirt. I already place it on my desk feel free to use it. P/s makes sure to eat your breakfast._

Just what the hell is Haizaki doing being like an awkward teenager? Akashi only smile before walk into the shower. “So he using this shampoo?” Akashi chuckled as he saw the shampoo. After 15 minutes shower, Akashi had a towel wrapped around his waist and he walks toward Haizaki’s desk. Another note was sticking on the cloth.

_Have a great day. Here my number._

He guess he didn’t mind putting Haizaki into his contact list. Done dressing his smartphone ringing. “Hello? Yes. I’m on my way. Sorry I hanging out with friends. Yes. I’ll let him know. Again sorry.” Akashi put on his shoes and walk toward out of the apartment. Making sure it was locked.


	3. Chapter 3

“Father?” Akashi speak as soon as he entered his father office.

“Where have you been?” without looking toward his son, Masaomi kept on reading a report on his hand.

“I’m staying with--friend.” Akashi fidget.

“I guess this friend is Haizaki-guy?” Masaomi look toward him. Akashi flinched, his breath stuck in his throat.

“How--how did you--”

“I’m not up for a game, Seijuro.” Masaomi glared.

“I’m not going for a game father!!” Akashi shouted. Masaomi stare at him without making any comment. His gazed only showing Akashi how disappointed he was and bored.

“I believe this Haizaki-guy working in some bar rather at young aged isn’t he not? Living with his aunt after his parent passed?” Masaomi leans on his chair. “Problematic child since young. Really living his life.” Masaomi sighed and stand up.

“Father, please. Don’t do that. Don’t touch Shogo-kun. He didn’t have anything to with us--” Akashi was close to crying.

“I see you both already go with first name basis.”

“Father--please--”

“Then stop, Seijuro. Stop with this. With everything. You done enough already. Focusing on your work!! Your position as the only heir of Akashi!!” Masaomi walks toward his son, standing face to face with him. “You only bring misfortune in your hand. There never been once you not bring harm to people around you. Chaos and calamity!! Look what you have done to your mother!! Your uncle!! What more do you intended to do? Destroying everything? Little Midas aren’t you?” Masaomi smirked.

“Father. You make it sound so dramatic.” Akashi tried to control his emotions.

“You always making it dramatic, Seijuro. Always.” Masaomi leans a bit meeting his eyes level. “But, I would like to see where this relationship will bring you to. Bring this Ha-zaki-guy to. Will he returns your feeling or will you change him into gold before he could break your wall? I would like to see that, Seijuro. It exciting me.” a hand meet his face. Caressing it lovely but loathly before walk away. Akashi wrapped his arm around him. Protecting himself from his father cruel words. For years, he been denying it. Denying every words that his father had throw to him ever since he could remembered. For years, he been trying to prove him father wrong. Proving him that all what had been bewitched to him is nothing but an empty words. But now, his head couldn’t denying it no more how accurate his father was.

_Disappear_

Akashi eyes widened. Who is it?

_Disappear_

No!! He can’t!! There’re people out there who is indeed cared for him. Who he cared for. Who--

_Are they?_

Akashi storm out of the office before running to his own office. His heart is beating like crazy. His breathing is too fast. Everything in his room is spinning. The voice in his head kept on repeating a same mantra over and over.

_A ringing._

Akashi flinch. He was actually shock. Like he had seen a ghost.

 _Second ringing._ Akashi still hestitating. He finally understood that it was his smartphone. With a shaking hand he pull his smartphone out from pocket. Staring into the screen, couldn’t make out the name. It’s was blur. His eyes were blur, unfocused.

 _Third ringing _.__ Finally he decided to just answer the call. “Hello?” Akashi recognised the voice. “Un?” a tears fall from his eyes. He wanted to be with his uncle. So freaking much.

* * *

“I will let him know. Sorry. I love you.” Kagami ended the call.

“Kuroko?” Himuro asked. Immediately Kagami nodded and smile.

“I forgot to call him last night.” Kagami take the breakfast offered to him. “Thanks.”

“I forgot to ask you this last night. Did you taking a break? From work I mean.” Himuro sit beside his brother.

“Yeah. I really need a rest.” Kagami sighed.

“Did Kuroko know?” Himuro eye his brother totally got the message already. “Why don’t you tell him?”

“I--I don’t know. I just--my head been wondering some shit lately.” Kagami drop his face meeting the table.

“And can I asked what kind of shit?” Himuro playing with Kagami’s hair.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to tell you. Or to tell anyone about this--”

“Did you impregnated someone?”

“WHAT!! NO!! I WILL NEVER DO THAT TO ANYONE DAUGHTER!!” Kagami shout. Immediately Himuro laughed.

“Thought will never see that face again.” Himuro still laughing. “Relax Taiga. I know you not that kind of person.”

“Huh. I can’t believe you!!” Kagami slam his face again meeting the table.

“So want to share it with me?” Himuro smile. After a moment, Kagami shook his head.

“I will but not now.”

“I’ll be here if you need me, Taiga.”

“I know.”

* * *

“AHHHHHHHH!!” aggressively Haizaki run his fingers through his hair.

“WHAT THE FUCK WRONG WITH YOU?” Shun, his friend throw his box of cigarette directly to his head.

“It been a freaking week, Shun!! he hasn’t yet called me back!!” Haizaki shouted.

“Then called him yourself idiot!!”

“I don’t have his number dammit!!”

“IDIOT!!”

Haizaki give up. To think that he can befriend Akashi is a stupid thinking. It was freaking Akashi Seijuro!! He doesn’t worth it. Hell, event that night before might be just a dream. Dreaming of vulnerable Akashi. Is he that desperate to befriends all generation? “Okay let do this slowly. Ryota.”

“You obviously kick his ass, Shogo.”

“Daiki”

“Totally will never forgive you for what you have done to this Kise-guy.” Shun answered.

“Atsushi.”

“Zero interest in you.”

“Tetsuya.”

“He approached you before and you might had been doing too much harm on that boy already. He might seeing you now as what a victim of abused will see their abuser.”

“I--Akashi--”

“Like really? You thought that Akashi. A same Akashi will give you a damn? It almost impossible, Shogo. You approach them and ask for forgiveness. They will forgive you but do they? I didn’t mean to stop you from asking their forgiveness. Everyone deserved that Shogo but do you think this will worth it?” Shun look directly toward him.

“What do you mean?”

Shun sighed. “I--Shogo look. It a good move that you trying to fix everything. But--what about me? You save me back then Shogo. I saw how twist you were before. And people hates you for that. The also same reason your aunt kick you out of her house. But--but I didn’t want to see you hurt. Though you really deserved that. But---” frustratingly Shun tried to explain. “AHHHHH. It only--you just what regained your peace. I just being selfish here to makes your peace stay longer, Shogo.”

“Nothing stay forever, Shun.”

“I know. That what I mean. And also the reason why I wanted you to stay lower for a bit more. Just--stop and focusing on yourself now.”

“Shun--”

“Please. I really meant it.” Shun touched Haizaki’s shoulder before left the room. Leaving Haizaki to thinking everything from the scratch.


	4. Chapter 4

_A hard slapped land on his face. A hand wrapped itself around his neck._

_Breathless._

_Shun tried to push him away but failed. He just to strong for him. He always been tha strong. "Sh--Shogo--" Shun tried to knock some sense to his friend but failed. Haizaki had lost to his own drunken self. "Sh--Shogo--" Shun's skin turning paled. His lips turning blue. "Sho--"_

Haizaki gasp and clutching his chest. His breathing was heavy. A sweat had wetting his bed, his back. Haizaki turn to his left and noticed it still dark outside. Almost instantly his eyes turn to the clock. 4 in the morning. "Fucking dream!!" Haizaki drop himself to his bed again, still breathing hard.

_"What about me?" Shun voice ringing in his head._

_"You approached them and asking for forgiveness. They will forgive you but do they?"_

Groaning, Haizaki's feet meet the floor. He really can't sleep after that dream. Well, who can? Haizaki make his way to his kitchen, pulling out a cold soda from his small fridge. Drinking it in one go before he clutching his head for the sudden freeze to his brain. "Fuck!!" Haizaki cursing between his pain.

_"Once a killer will always be a killer." a faint image of his aunt appear in front of him. Looking all disgust toward him._

_"Mama please!!" Anya, his cousin was begging to her mom._

_"Go inside Anya!!" his aunt push her harshly._

_"Mama please!! Not after all happened. Please!! It wasn't even Sho-niichan fault!!" Anya was crying before her eyes meet Shogo. "Sho-niichan said something!!"_

_Picking his Bag Haizaki only giving Anya a small nodded before leaving the house. Without giving any proper goodbye._

_"Once a killer will always be a killer."_

"Once a killer will always be a killer." Haizaki murmur as he running his finger on the top of the tin. Following every corner of the drink shape.

"Though you really deserved that."

Haizaki sighed. Maybe an early shift wouldn't hurt.

\-----

"Anya!!!" a boy grabbed her arm.

"Riku-kun!!" Anya was shock. Like truly shocked. No one dared to befriend her. Like even teachers was afraid of her. Why? Because she was Haizaki. And a bad omen is what people around their area called them.

"Anya!! I--" Riku was breathless.

"Riku-kun. Calm down. Take a deep breath." Anya hand him a drink which he immediately took.

"WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME!!" Riku bow.

"Ehhh!!! EHHHHEHHHHH!!" Anya look around and noticed everyone was looking at them. Riku the most famous boy in their school is asking her out? Like freakin? "Ehhh!! Riku-kun are you sick?" Anya asked.

"Sick? What?? No!!! What makes you think so?" Riku tilt his head.

"No. It just--weird--" Anya looks to her shoes.

"Is it because of the rumors?" Riku asked.

"Well--"

Riku laughed. "Anya. I heard there are new shop around here. They serving a best cake. We postponed the confession for now and grabbing for cake? How that sound?" Riku smile showing his white perfect teeth.

Laughing Anya pull Riku out of the school and walks to the mentions place. "You are weird, Riku-kun."

\----

Akashi stare on his smartphone. Haizaki's name was displayed on his contact list. He was searching for their business partner name but somehow land on Haizaki's name. Should he called him to thanked him? But his father had made it clear to stop contacting him or he won't like the result. And he almost killed himself because of the sudden attack. Akashi sighed knock his on head on the table.

"Since when?" Akashi turn to his left. The picture of his mother was frame with a beautiful gold flower. "What should I do mama?" Akashi sighed as the picture only giving him a gentle stare. "What an idiot talking to a picture."

"Indeed what an idiot." another voice appears. Akashi smile as he recognized that voice. His cousin is here.

"I've been waiting." Akashi rise his head, meeting a pair of gray-black eyes.

"So I've been told."

\----

"Anya-san?" Shun was shock as he delivered the order to her table.

"Shun-nii!" Anya almost jump off her chair before Shun stop her.

"Calm down, Anya-san!!" Shun was holding her down.

"Shun-nii!! Where Sho-niichan!!" Anya half-shouting. Riku was confused. He never saw Anya this active. She always makes herself invisible, this is, this is new to him. Watching Anya so loud.

"Anya-san." Shun smile before touching her face. "I didn't know. After that night. I never saw him again. That was the last time I saw him. I wish I know Anya-san. But--sorry." Shun bow toward Riku before back to his work.

"Who is that?" Riku asked.

"The only lead I had." Anya sighed before smile toward Riku sadly. "He's the only friends that my brother had." 

"What happened to your brother?" Riku asked. Well, he just want to makes sure of it. He heard the rumors spearing around about Anya and her family. He just want to makes sure of it. It just doesn't sound great in his head to just accusing someone before hearing their side of the story. 

"You heard the rumors, Riku-kun why asking?" Anya answered him boringly.

"Well--there are different side of the rumors. And I want to hear from your side." Riku smile sincerely.

"You really are weird." Anya putting the spoon of cake into her mouth before her eyes again meet Riku. After a moment of staring contest, Anya finally admit defeated. Riku is stubborn and she can see it clearly. She then told him everything. About what happened. When the rumors about his cousin had killed his parent and so. Without voicing his opinions but hearing it genuinely. Done telling him the whole story, Anya smile. A usual respond she got. She will be judged without properly listening to what she told anyone. That why she never cared to explain everything. There no used. "Excuse me, Riku-kun." Anya grabbed her bag and leave the cafe. "Seems like I lost another friend. Again."

"Anya!!!" a hand wrapped around her arm. It was Riku. Her eyes widened. 

"Riku-kun?"

"Why are you leaving? I haven't telling you what I've think!!" he again catching his breath. 

"Cause you just froze?"

"It because it totally different from what I've heard!! To think that your brother is part of that legendary team?! Are you kidding me, Anya? We talking about generations of miracle here!!" Riku was excited. Suddenly a hand wrapped around Riku's body. "Anya?" RIku's face reddened. 

"Thanks." Anya was crying. Finally, someone heard her. Finally, she can breathing easily. And finally. she can trust someone.


	5. Chapter 5

It only a brief moment but now they were standing and staring to each other. Both gulps. "Haizaki-kun--"

"Tetsuya--" Haizaki look toward the blue hair male. He's had grown. And taller since last time he saw him. Even taller than Akashi, what a turn of event. But as usual the other male were as paled as he remembered and even that innocent eyes.

"It--it nice to see you again, Haizaki-kun." Kuroko bow a bit. "It been a while?" Kuroko wasn't sure what to says right now. His enemy? His friend? He wasn't sure what to call him. They aren't that close but aren't that stranger to each other.

Haizaki turn his head. Shun's voice still ringing in his head. "Can we talk, Tetsuya?" Haizaki never meet Kuroko's eyes. Still turning his head.

"Sure. Sure. You lead the way?" awkwardness is heavy. Both was so confused where to move or who making a first move. But it just ended them in a small cafe and a drink already serve in front of them.

'Ehhh!! Who had ordered this?' Haizaki head screaming.

"So--?" Kuroko tried to lift the suffocating situation.

"Ahhh--yeah. I--" Why is it so hard? It just Kuroko. He even can talked easily with Akashi the one he should be afraid of but Kuroko?

_'He might seeing you now as what a victim of abused will see their abuser.'_

"Haizaki-kun?" Kuroko was waving his hand in front of Haizaki.

"Ahh!! Sorry!!"

"Well. This is awkward." Kuroko chuckled. "So you working as a bartender?" Kuroko look toward Haizaki' s uniform.

"Kinda." Haizaki answered fast. "You?"

"I'm still in college?" Kuroko shows Haizaki'a his student pass on his neck.

"Ahhh--so it just Akashi who is already working?" Haizaki asked.

"Not really. Kise-kun do working part-time as a model. And it was my last month in college now." Kuroko informed him.

"You still--playing basketball?"

"As a hobby, yes. I'm not doing it for serious like Aomine-kun and Taiga-kun." Kuroko sighed. "Haizaki-kun. What do want to ask me actually?" Kuroko face was serious. Never did Haizaki ever saw the small male was this serious. Not when he had hurt Kise.

"I--" Haizaki sighed. He wasn't sure how to says this and should he saying this? "I--I'm sorry." Haizaki eyes meet Kuroko.

"Sorry?" Kuroko tilt his head totally taken. "For what?"  
  
"For--all had happened between us?" Haizaki gulps as the aura around Kuroko suddenly changed.

"Are you being serious?" Kuroko stand up, his face reddened.

"I--yes!!"

"Don't fuck with me Haizaki." Kuroko breathing becomes heavy. Haizaki was shocked. The smaller male was actually cursing. "After all you had done. After all we been through? Are you really being serious? Like asking for forgiveness can solved every damn things?!" Kuroko hit the table.

"Tetsuya. You making a scene!!" Haizaki tried to calm the other male while his eyes looks around.

"I'm making a scene? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" Kuroko now shouting. "What are you planning? What do you want?!"

"Sir please. You disturbing other customers." a women stand beside them. Trying to calming both.

"Tetsuya!! I really meant every words!!" a hand meet Haizaki's face. His eyes widened. Kuroko was crying. It should be him who wanted to cry right now. Is it always this hurt? Is it always this hard?

"Don't you dared, Haizaki-kun!! Don't appear in front of me again. In front of everyone." Kuroko grabbed his bag before leaving the cafe.

"Sir are you okay?" the women was worried.

"I'm--sorry." Haizaki put the money on the table, paying for their bills without waiting for the change.

\---

_"No!!!" Haizaki shouted. A hand meeting his face. His mother was crying._

_"You--" his brother disappointed face were looking at him, his arm were hold by their father._

_"Shoto!!" their father shout angrily now stand between Haizaki and his mother and brother._

_"Why you both keeps troubling yourself with this idiot!!" his brother hissing. "He invited all those problem himself why bothered helping him when he obviously didn't want our fucking help!!" angrily Shoto shout._

_"Shoto!! Enough!!" their father turn toward Haizaki. "Are you okay Shogo?" a warm finger touching Haizaki's red cheek. "Huh. Your mother slapped you with her ring." their father smile sadly._

_"I'm fine." Haizaki murmurs._

_"Huh. We be coming again next week. Just--take cared of yourself, Shogo." his father finger left his cheek._

_Only if I know._

_He received a called from police. Accident. It almost as everything around Haizaki becomes mute._

_If only I knew._

_Not a single tears fall from his eyes. Everyone called him a freak. Monster. It was his parent funeral. Everyone was there. His brother is still comatose. His chance of surviving just too small. Everyone was there. Everyone but his friends. He just noticed he had no one. His back is too bare. His side is empty. No one is sitting beside him not in front of him. It too empty._

_His aunt had too him in because she feeling in debt with his parent but it only later she decided to throw him out as he was on that aged. No one was there to catch him._

_If only I knew._

_No one but Shun. He had saw him. His side. His sickening side. He had punched, kicked, even beating half-dead, yet Shun never let him go. He always there to catch him. He often wondered why._

_Another called. He really hates police or hospital. They never giving him a nice news whenever they decided to call him. His brother is having another seizure. He almost die. Haizaki never been that terrified. Feeling that he will be alone this time._

_'I never had a chance to ask for forgiveness.'_

_"How is he?" Haizaki can felt his bone shaking. It getting colder whenever his brother having a seizure._

_"We pull through. For now." the nurse smile sadly._

_It was late night when he was standing in front of a shrine. He never gone to shrine before. He never praying. But, he was now. Everyday without missing a single night. Praying mostly for his brother._

_"It you again." a man who always come just like him. Late night. He had a pair of red eyes, glowing under the moonlight. A hair with a color of blood._

_"Hello, again." Haizaki smile._

_"Do you believe in punishment?" he asked. His voice is so soft and kind. First time he saw the man, he thought he was a devil. A true devil decided to end him. He didn't knew where the idea comes from but seeing one stranger standing looking like a death himself under the bright moonlight with a pair of red eyes and hair. All he could think of is death. And here he thought, Akashi had the strangest hair and eyes._

_"What punishment?"_

_"What you do is what you get back." the man smile. "I believe they called it Karma."_

_"I don't believe in those." Haizaki answered._

_"I know someone. Monster. He killed and you know what happened to him? He was killed too. But not physically. But mentally and everyone around him. Is dying." the man smile. "He tried to repent. But, seems like God already mark him as a sinner." those pair of red eyes meet him. "The only way to bring it back. To change everything back to the way it was is to asking for forgiveness. But, it can't be undo unless someone had forgive you." with that the man left the shrine and since then he never again appeared. And Haizaki didn't believed in karma._

_"I'm sorry." Haizaki was embarrassed. He never asking for forgiveness. Shun eyes widened. He was stun._

_"WHAT THE FUCK!!" Shun cursing._

_"As I thought!! This not going to happen!! Forget it!!" Haizaki left their shared apartment and went to the hospital visiting his brother._

_"Haizaki-san!!!" a nurse running toward him happily._

_"Yes?" Haizaki was confused. The nurse always showing how terrified their was to him but running toward him happily? Is the world going to end?_

_"I had a good news. Today. Your brother. His finger is moving. A bit. But it was there. He was responding!!" she overjoyed. More than Haizaki himself._

_Haizaki absolutely had a zero belief in karma._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I will start back to the main character, Akashi now since I think it enough for Haizaki at the moment xD


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may say this chapter is kind of dark a bit? A self-injured and maybe a mental breakdown so please do not proceed if it disturbing for you.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!" a pair of gold eyes are furious. He pushed Masaomi to the wall. Trapping him.

"Hello, my dear brother." Masaomi smiles and gently push his twin from him. "What pleasure do I own this sudden visits?"

"Don't be an innocent type, Masa. You know why I am here." Masato hissed.

Smirking, Masaomi switch on his notebook. "What can you do, Masato? Hit me? Sabotaging me? Please be more creative." Masaomi sits down on his chair.

"Are you even human? That your fucking son, dammit!!" Masato hits the table.

Tilting his head, Masaomi smile, "So?"

"You--" Masato sighed. "What did she do to you, Masaomi?" 

"Mother didn't do anything to me, Masato. This is me." Masaomi tilt to his right as the door open. "Hello, nephew." Masaomi stands up and walks toward the black-hair male. "Look at you already growing this big." 

"It pleasure to finally meet you in person, uncle." 

"Leave Kazunari!!" Masato glared.

"Understand, father." Takao bows and left the room.

"Masato." Masaomi smirked. "Even you do it, Masato."

"I'm not like you." 

Masaomi laughed. "Oh dear brother. We are alike. We are an Akashi. Do remember that." 

\-----

"Akashi-san." Kise bow. "I believed this is our last contract?"

"I--" Akashi look around. No one is focusing on them. Everyone is busy setting the studio. "Ryo--"

"Akashi-san. Can we drop the first name basis? It makes me uncomfortable." Kise staring toward him boringly. 

"Ryo--"

"Akashi-san. PLEASE." Kise press the last sentences. 

"Seijuro-sama. Here the request from Akashi-sama." a women hand him a paper which he taking weakly. "Thanks. Shall we continue then, Kise-san?" Akashi's eyes turn cold, Kise gulps. "Kise-san?"

"Yes. Yes." Kise walks to the middle of the studio and listening to request from Akashi. This time he was modelling for Akashi's another designated cloth. It's was a pastel yellow color with a simple word on his chest. _unbound._ Kise was confused. He never knew he will be modeling for a cloth. Knowing the Akashi. This is not their field. "Cloth?" Kise cannot help but ask.

"Do you had any problem with it, Kise-san?" Akashi asked.

"What? NO!! Of course not!! It just surprising." Kise eyes land on the cloth again. Even if Akashi entering the designing field it's still too simple for their standard. Let alone too cheap?

"The color will bring your hair and eyes color into the picture. Is what I've been targeting. That was your main job. Making sure your bright self wouldn't make the cloth lost it's worth." Akashi says before taking his seat. Giving Kise a time to think of what posses he will do.

As he reaching his seat, Akashi smile. His assistant even asking him before what worth did the cloth worth. It too simple and not so original. As in Akashi only making money out of nothing. Cheap strategy. Akashi answering him with none. He just continuing his usual job while choosing the best color. 

"Can we start, Akashi-sama? Seems like Kise-san is ready." the photographer asked. Akashi nodded and returned to his smartphone. A picture of generations is displayed on his screen. A picture where all of them are having fun. Everyone was smiling even himself. Everyone was present even Haizaki and Nijimura. 

_Haizaki and Nijimura._

"I haven't given him my thanks yet." Akashi sighed. Scrolling to the website, Akashi's eyes meet a bracelet. A customized bracelet. Akashi presses the screen lightly before the bracelet showing 3 different colors. Silver, gold and black. Akashi touches the black bracelet's picture and types the words he wanted to carve into it before pressing the send button. A moment later, he was asked what type of payment he wish to do. 

"Akashi-sama. We have done." the photographer stands beside him before showing him the picture. "I can do some editing and it will be done by tomorrow?"

"Take your time. Don't rush it." Akashi stands up and walks to Kise. "Thanks for your hard work, Kise-san."

"Aka--"

"Until we meet again, Kise-san. Ahh--and that cloth is yours." Akashi bows a bit before left the studio, leaving Kise speechless.

"Wha--"

"Thanks for your hard work, Kise-san!!" the staff bow to his.

\-----

Akashi leans on his door as he enters his office. His body is shaking. He never saw Kise that cold. Kise is always happy. Smiling. A sunshine in their group. 

_"Monster"_

No. That not right!!

Kise is not a monster.

Kise is not a monster.

Kise is not a monster.

Kise is not a monster.

Kise is not--

_"You are, not him."_

Akashi turns around. The voice is repeating in his head. Someone is behind him. Someone is in the room. Someone is--where is that person? Where?

A knock on his door shocked him. Immediately, Akashi fix his coat and hair before opening the door. In front of him is a blonde hair male. "Kise-san?" Akashi was confused. He was sure Kise will be excited leaving considering their cold exchange. "Do you need something?" Akashi smile.

"Can we talk?" Kise asked.

"Now?" Akashi look to Kise left and right.

"I come alone." Kise stroke his neck, awkwardly.

Akashi looks into Kise's eyes. "Okay--come on in." Akashi opens his door wider, letting the blonde male to enter. "Why don't you take a sit while I take the drink?" Akashi walks to his mini coffee maker. He pours two cups of coffee before hand it to Kise who takes it rather slowly. "So?" Akashi was sitting opposite of him.

"What is happening?" Kise looks toward him.

"Sorry?" 

"Us. What is happening to us?" Kise sighed before put the cup on the table.

"I don't quite understand your question, Kise-san." Akashi smile.

"Akashicchi--"

"Leave." Akashi smile weakly. 

"Akashicchi. Look--I'm--I'm sorry." Kise's voice shaking.

Akashi smile before hand Kise his smartphone. Their picture is display. Kise eyes widened. "I've been using it since." Akashi smile again. His voice is close to whispering, as in afraid to admit. "Maybe everyone was right. Something wrong with me." suddenly the smartphone meets the wall. Shattered. Kise was too shocked to make a move. Slowly, Kise's eyes land on the broken smartphone. 

"Akashicchi--"

"And that was my only copy." Akashi sighed. "That is happening to us, Kise-san. I answered your question."

"Akashi-sama." the knock on the door lift the heavy atmosphere between them. Akashi stands up and opens the door. "Your father request your presence now." 

"I will be there soon. I still have some business." Akashi close the door and turn to Kise. "You heard him, Kise-san. If you excuse me, I had another business to attend." Akashi left, leaving a still shocking Kise.

As in just wake up from a nightmare, Kise pull put his smartphone. As soon as the other line picking it up, Kise crying. "Daikicchi. Please pick me up."

\-----

It was late night when Akashi reaching his office. His smartphone is still on the floor. Slowly he makes his way to it before fall to his knees. Collecting every piece of it. HIs tears fall. "That was my only copy." Akashi cover his mouth, sealing his voice. 

_"Don't cry my love."_

"Where are you mother? I need you." Akashi voice cracked. He was embracing himself. "Please take me with you." Akashi push the piece of smartphone into his skin. "Please--"

_"I'm here my love."_

"Mama--" Akashi forehead meet the ground. His tears fall. 

_"End it."_

And somehow that doesn't sound bad.


	7. Chapter 7

"Father." Takao sigh as his father throw his coat onto the floor.

"I told you to wait in the car why are you coming into his office?" Masato glared.

"I wanted to meet uncle. It been while." Takao smile. Before Takao could proceed what is happening, Masato had him push to the wall and his hand was gripping his neck, tightly. "Fa--"

_"Even you do it, Masato."_

"Fa--" Takao can felt his vision blurred. 

_"Oh dear brother. We are alike. We are an Akashi. Do remember that."_

"Masato!!" his assistant pull him away from Takao who immediately trying to catch his own breathing. "What are you doing!!" he knell beside Takao before slowly stroking his back. "Are you okay, Kazu?"

"I'm fine. I'm fine. Father just tired." Takao still trying to breath. He never saw his father like that. His father never been like that. He always so gentle to him. He always full of love.

"Come with me. Let your father clear his mind for a second." he help Takao to his feet before dragging him out of the office. Masato who still thinking what he had done is now shaking. _He just trying to kill his own son. His only son._

_"Oh dear brother. We are alike. We are an Akashi. Do remember that."_

No. They not the same. He had been living all by himself and he was never directly received the Akashi's training.

_"We are an Akashi."_

* * *

"What happened?" Watanabe eyes the only heir to his boss.

"I'm not sure exactly. One moment we were talking. Then father just had his fingers around my neck." Takao smile as Watanabe still had an ice around his neck.

"Tch. That damn Akashi. He should try to control himself more. He becoming more like his twin by days now." Watanabe sighed.

"Is father always been like that?" Takao was curious. His father had always been a perfect father and husband in his eyes. He never knew about his father being an Akashi until recently. And even to think he was a cousin to Akashi Seijuro even makes it even more shocking news to him.

"He a lots more worst than that. He never cared of everyone. What cause his action can be. He like a wild animals. But. You mother somehow had tamed him." Watanabe chuckled. "When he decided to makes your mother his wife he had tried his best. He controlling himself. And your mother and me always making fun of it. He like a dog that had been trained by specialists." Watanabe caressing Takao's cheek. "Now with she gone. I'm worried about him."

"Watanabe." a voice shocking both. Immediately both turn their head to the source. Masato was standing behind them with a pack of ice and a drink. "Can you leave us?"

"Of you dared to touch him that way again. I will personally kick your ass, Masato." Watanabe left the father and son alone.

"Father." Takao try to stand but stopped before he could. A hand was holding his shoulder gently. A same gentle touch of his father that he always had been painted with.

"Sorry." Masato caressing his son's cheek. "I kind of--harsh?" his eyes travel to the mark around his son's neck. "I--"

"Father. I'm fine." Takao touch his father hand and kiss his forehead. "I'm fine." immediately he was wrapped in his father arm.

_"Your father is a gentle person but uncontrollable. A kiss on his forehead always calm him down. It might be awkward for you when you grow up but you have to do it."_

It not that awkward though for Takao. Or maybe he just receiving too much from his Shin-chan that it not an issued now? He was glad he wasn't born as his cousin or did he taken the name of Akashi. _How are you, Sei?_ Takao buried his face into his father's neck. Tightening his embrace. He can never imagine Akashi's life. Nor did he ever can imagined a life without his father.

"Thanks." Takao smile as his father stroking his back.

"No thanks to you."

* * *

"Are you okay now?" Aomine kiss his lover forehead.

"Sorry." Kise wiped away his tears.

"What happened?" Aomine hand his a bottle of water. He never saw Kise crying that hard. Well not after their small fight which had happened like years ago.

"I makes Akashicchi sad." again Kise crying. Aomine sighed. This is tiring. Dealing with a roller-coaster Kise. His emotions is all over the place.

"You annoying." Aomine roll his eyes.

"Daikicchi!!!"

"And it a wonder why he had not kill you!!"

"Daikicchi!! I'm serious. He was sad. Not that kind of sad. He called me Kise-san!!" Kise look to Aomine with his huge gold eyes.

"Why do you even thinking of doing whatever you doing? No!! Let me take a guess!! You becoming a shit aren't you?" Aomine sighed again. "And here people always called me the shit one but if only they knew how mental you can be."

"Daikicchi!!"

"You twisted little sunshine." Aomine pull his lover to his chest. "Give him a rest for now. Think of it through. We already had a bad relationship with him and you only makes it worst."

"But, Akashicchi is close to crying when he left."

"That was your fault. Go and meet him. Says sorry. He'll forgive you. He always been."

"But what if he not?"

"Then kiss his feet. Bow to the ground. Making a statue for him. Whatever. Trade the world. Or better kill yourself."

"Daikicchi!! That not funny!!"

"Who said I'm joking?" Aomine smirked.

"Daikicchi!!"

Aomine smile as he kissing Kise forehead. Becoming Kise lover for years now. He can see it clearly now when to joke and when to be serious with Kise. Kise mood is like a roller-coaster and it sometimes unpredictable. It hard to understand but this is who is Kise and he don't think people can bear with him. It's like Kise had two different personality. An asshole and a Saint. He hates both though.

"I love you Daikicchi."

"The feeling is mutual. I hate you too."

"Daikicchi!!" 

**Author's Note:**

> my english is suck XD
> 
> gonna updated soon but not sure when AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA


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